he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
