You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
