did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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