Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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