so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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