hell yes lets make some ravioli
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize