After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
