You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
