It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
