Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize