My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
