Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize