I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
