I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
