Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
