Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
