and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
