I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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