is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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