Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize