We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
