he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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