Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
