I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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