dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Randomize
