maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
