Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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