Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize