so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
