i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
