Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
