I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
