Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
