I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
