she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
