Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
