somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
they're like a gay fantastic four
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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