So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
