"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
