You're my little dorito
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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