I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
