I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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