this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
