You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
