He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
