I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
