he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So much rum. So many feels.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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