I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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