Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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