i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm both gender and math confused
Never joke about your clitoris.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
