im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
