Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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