Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
