theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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