Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I don't want my vagina anymore.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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