How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
