My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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