let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It's rum buckets o'clock
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
