So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
