Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
