Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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