she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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