yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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