I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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