Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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