Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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