Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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