I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
