I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
