I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
worst night to have a conscience
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
