he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
