i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
40s are totally the cure
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
