Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
