Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize