Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
