i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
