i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
