hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Can I color on your dick again?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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