so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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