We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
