i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
