So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
