Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
