Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
