Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize